Parenting through the Coronavirus

Wow. Crazy times! Here in the UK, the last week has seen the Coronavirus situation move swiftly. Despite the scenes of clear supermarket shelves, in our local area things seem calm and people are being kind and proactive in their preparations. I don't know what to say about it all really. Surreal! But I've been thinking about parenting our children through these uncertain and unsettling times ...

Many of our children are bound to feel uneasy, anxious and maybe even frightened. Depending on their age and level of understanding, there will be different approaches to take. My 3 year old does not understand the situation. He has no point of reference and not enough understanding of the world. Other than talking to him about there being a nasty cough going around and then need to keep the germs at bay with hand washing, there isn't much more to do. If we reach the point where nursery closes, we'll explain in simple terms why. Outside of that it's a case of keeping calm tones of voice, news off and protecting him and those around him with self care. He currently has a very mild cough, so led by our governments guidelines, he'll be home for the next week at least.  My nearly ten year old, well, that's an entirely different parenting game! She is nervous and she's needed support. Here are some of the things I've done with her to support her emotional health: 

• Tried to be balanced in response to the news, know the facts, been careful not to catastrophise and used calm, reassuring tones of voice when talking about it.
• Validated fears. If they’ve seen the news, the video reports will potentially look scary to a child! I've said to my eldest things along the lines of, "I understand it looks scary but remember the news is showing us a small number of people, all of which have been ill. Some people get very ill and others feel quite well even when they have it."
• Given reassurance that the information collected so far shows that most people who have coronavirus have a mild illness and may not even need to see a Doctor.
• Given reassurance that information collected so far shows that children are less likely to be affected.
• Given sense of empowerment with the knowledge that bodies are awesome and have mechanisms that fight infection and illness.
• Taken the opportunity to talk about how this an issue for ALL people not just one country and placed an emphasis on the opportunity to come together .

Last night I led with my nearly ten year until she feel asleep. I did that because she needed to feel safe. Bedtime is often the time where her anxious thought run riot and she can struggle to drop off. Yes, she may be gaining increased independence and maturity in so many ways, but she's a child. My intuition told me that she just needed to be close and feel that unique sense of connection and comfort that mums give! Listen to your intuition. What emotional comfort does your child need from you?

Next, logistics. In the UK as I write this, schools are still open. That is unlikely to be the case shortly and there's a lot of chatter and apprehension on social media about home schooling. So, as a mother and ex  Primary Teacher , here's my thoughts on how to manage with children at home on a fairly long term basis. 

• DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT try to recreate the primary school day and setting. You will not have fun and neither will your child. You don't need to 'learn' in a formal way from 9-3. Keep worksheets to a minimum i.e. don't spend all day working your way through them. 
• Keep the day fluid. Have an idea of the activities you want to cover and then be led by your child. If you're doing an activity and they start getting frustrated or bored before your ideal time slot on it is over, move on anyway. Or have some free time. 
• ​Plan a few days ahead with an eye on the weather forecast. If good weather is forecast, take the opportunity to be in the garden. Have a list of 'outdoor activities' and 'rainy day activities' ready to go. 
• Plan a project to work on together. Or select a topic to spend time learning about. Make a presentation for your child to take back to school and share when things return to normality. Remember that projects will cover a range of skills that your child can continue to develop at home, such as reading, writing, spelling, maths skills and knowledge. But know this. A project will not work unless you are in it with them, present, authentically enjoying it and keeping independent tasks within it on track. 
• If you want to spend time covering basic skills such as maths etc, find out what your child's year group is working on. No doubt teachers will be in touch with suggestions should a closure happen for you. Within your child's year group objectives, challenge your child but make sure they are able to achieve expectations too. 

Our world has become fast, busy and increasingly disconnected. If you are forced to be at home for a long period, remember that the time connect will be a light in the darkness. If you decide to throw academics out the window for a little while, fear not. Your attention will be more than enough. So go for a walk, play, watch a movie and read. The world is forcing us to slow down and whilst that mostly definitely brings challenges or worries for adults to overcome, like everything, we can find a positive if we choose to look for it.