... we teach them to be kind to themselves.
From all my years of working with kids and mumming, it took little observation to see why some kids can be so unkind to others. And I’m talking about your average kid here. They are very easily caught up with comparison. Something we all do, but it can become destructive if we allow it to feed our emotions. When some kids are unkind to others, it comes from comparing themselves with others, usually because they don’t have a positive image of self. They lack confidence (though they may not appear so), are unsure what their strengths are, focus on things about themselves they see as negative and may even be unable to see what value they bring to others. They might struggle with jealousy, look for validation in the wrong places, be confused or influenced by social dynamics or are doubting themselves, to the point where seeing others feel the same way makes them feel (briefly) better. The hit of power or satisfaction achieved with unkind behaviour doesn’t last and often leaves that child with an even louder negative internal narrative. If we can teach our kids to be kinder to themselves, aware of what is going on for them emotionally and proud to be the only ‘them’ in the world, perhaps we can reduce their urge to compare with others. Then we are surely going to help kids be kind?! The world needs a kinder generation. That begins with us, mamas.
Hey! I'm the founder, creator and voice of Ink and Scribbles. Sharing thoughts on child well-being and parenting that are based on my teaching and parenting experience, and NLP learning.