6 Ways to help your child find their inner Superhero!

Kids love a superhero and on National Superhero Day there's no better time to help our kids find their inner superpowers.

Children benefit immensely from knowing that they bring something unique to the people and world around them, but it's not always easy for them to identify what that is. Even at a young age, beliefs can be formed around labels and perceptions of self that can limit them. Children can form negative or limiting beliefs about themselves for a number of reasons, including:

• taking on the opinions of others (e.g. a label from a parent, teacher or family member).
• mis-interpretation and generalisation of an event or incident (e.g. believing they aren't very smart because of one low mark in a spelling test).
• judging themselves on their emotional state, which is temporary (e.g. they don't feel confident in certain situations but interpret this as not having confidence at all, which in turn becomes a self fulfilling prophecy!).

We can help our children discover their inner superpowers and see themselves in a positive light. There's a few things that every superhero has: resilience, acceptance of self, a passion or purpose and growth mindset. Here's 6 easy to implement ways you can support your child to find their power within: 

• Embrace their uniqueness! Our children are not mini versions of ourselves. It's important that as parents we shake off expectations of what we would like our children to be and instead focus on helping them be the best version of who they are. This covers several parenting mistakes that come from a good place. First, ignoring or suppressing our child's traits or quirks because we have some discomfort with it. For example, sometimes parents can worry that their child will encounter challenges such as bullying, judgements or labels because of a unique trait, which they want to protect them from in the from. Secondly, deciding on the path our child's life should take can suppress their unique traits. There's a fine line between pushing our kids to be someone that doesn't align with who they are and seeing their potential and encouraging them along. We have life experience that they don't, so there are moments where of course, we have to guide them and set boundaries. But let's do so whilst allowing them to be comfortable with who they are.
• Help them hear their inner voice! As a society, we've become very good at silencing our children's inner voice. Kids seem to be very tuned into their wants and needs at a young age, but often we squeeze this awareness of out them during childhood. We can keep them tuned into their inner voice by recognising what they are feeling and what they desire whilst maintaining boundaries. Look out for what makes your child feel good and point it out them. If you see them in that 'zone', relaxed and at ease with themselves when they are reading, doing art, singing, in a sport etc, make an explicit connection by saying something like, "You look content when you're ...". We can also talk to slightly older children and teens about the things that are important to them and supporting these interests. For example, they may show an interest in climate change or animal conservation which you can support through charitable work, fundraising, learning more as a family etc. 
• Discuss challenges they've face and how they overcame them. Talking about challenging moments allows children to understand that they can do hard things and survive them. This builds confidence. Taking the conversation on to HOW they overcame them enables a deeper understanding of self, and shows your child that they are powerful. For example, this could involve using patience, determination, courage, kindness or communication skills. Children don't always make the link between overcoming a challenge and how they achieved it, but a simple chat about it can help them wire that experience in their brain and encourage a positive belief about themselves.
• Reframe their thoughts. Helping children reframe unhelpful thoughts can really prove to them that they have inner powers they didn't realise were there. This may involve reframing a label they've been given or have given themselves. For example, turning "I'm shy" into "I'm observant and like to listen to others" will be far more beneficial and encourage children to see themselves in a positive way. Not everyone is observant or a good listener, so these are good thing people to have in society! 
• Use affirmations. Powerful statements can support children to believe in themselves and find their confidence. Affirmations counteract the automatic negative thoughts that our brain likes to try and protect us with, but they can keep us small and stop us from being our best selves. Consistently using affirmations is an easy way to build self esteem and positively frame their unique traits as strengths.
• Help your child take responsibility. When we take responsibility for ourselves, we feel strong and empowered. It's the same for our kids. In child appropriate ways, we can help our kids take on responsibilities that help them feel good about themselves. This could includes child friendly  household responsibilities, managing pocket money or supporting them to undertake and complete a project. On an emotional level, we can support them through difficult things, rather than fix or remove,  such as starting a new after school club or speaking in class.  

Enjoy the confidence you see your child find, when you guide them to discover to their inner powers.

Ruth Bussey

Ink and Scribbles Founder